Lonely

Ever felt that you are totally alone even though you are surrounded by people that you know? Of cause when you are surrounded by strangers say on the bus or MRT, that's a totally different story. But I am talking about people you know, people you care about, people who care about you.

You can be sitting in the office doing your work, with all your collegues around you,yet you feel alone. Having dinner and conversation with your family, Yet you feel alone. Hell, you can even be sitting next to your other half, being hugged by him, yet you feel alone.

Is loneliness something which is easy to handle? I'm perfectly ok with spending time all by myself. Say just playin on the PC, reading a book while lazing on my bed.. Watching TV, or even just lying on my bed.. Doing nothing but letting my mind roam free imagining anything that my grey matter can dream up. I strongly believe that a person must spend time by him/herself. Then you'll not feel so stressed up and pressurised. Wont feel that you are being pulled in all directions, by everyone around you.

So why is it that these few days I feel lonely? Can be laughin at the antics of my cousins ashley and megan. yet deep down, i feel sad and lonely. Damned.. please don't tell me that I am turning out to be like one of those girls who will get depressed before that time of the month, and will stay that way till it is over. I had a taste of it once. And honestly, i don't wish to go through that cycle every month! Its not only trying for the people around me, cause they are like steppin on egg shells around me. But it is hell for myself!

Think I should go out and exercise more.. smell the sea breeze.. any one willing to volunteer to spend a day or a morning with me cycling down pasir ris beach or east coast beach? haha..

Cheers!